In case you were worried, no, I haven't joined some creepy apocalyptic cult. I have neither drunk the Kool-aid nor donned the Nikes.
PAUSE FOR A MOMENT TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT CAT VIDEOS FROM MY 7 YEAR OLD.
Okay, we're back. Because I am a mind-blowingly amazing mother, I do in fact set all of you aside to listen to my children's mostly totally inane stories. At least the first 15 times. Because even awesome parents have their limits.
RIGHT. So yes, the end is here but it isn't the apocalypse. It's the end of the school year. Guys. IT'S ALMOST THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR ZOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE WOWIE WOW WOW WOW!!
I'm becoming annoying. In fairness, I may have always been annoying. But I'm becoming more specifically annoying, so it's different. About a month ago... maybe longer, maybe shorter, I'm losing my mind and have lost any concept of time... about a month ago, I actually sat down and calculated out our attendance for the year (I had it recorded, but had never counted the days), and I learned that we are set to hit our annual minimum on May 4. Now a couple of notes here:
1) Apparently homeschoolers in California don't have to hit a minimum number of school days. We are just required to keep a record of whatever days we choose to attend.
2) I choose to aim for the same required minimum of public/charter/private schools in California. 175. In case you're curious, it's 166. Tick tock.
3) I choose to only count days that for us either involve us sitting down for rigorous academics, or field trips. To the zoo. Or the mountains. Or the children's museum. Because real schools do feild trips so OBVI they totally count as school.*
4) We are involved with a program** that meets 1 day a week for 24 weeks each year. That program ended last week. So pretty much no one's the boss of me anymore.
So all this adds up to mean that, by my standards, our school's standards, and the standards of our glorious state government, THE END IS NIGH AND WE ARE ALMOST FREE!!
Okay. Even as I'm saying all of this, I feel like I need to apologize. I can hear how weird I've gotten. I can see it in other peoples faces.
"Hi, I'm Ashley, and our school year is almost done."
"Yes, I know who you are. Plus, you've told me the school thing every day for the last month."
"OUR SCHOOL YEAR IS AMOST DONE."
"Ummm..." ::Suddenly receives a phone call no one else can here::
I think it makes life easier that people found me off-putting to start with. Keep those expectations low, my friends.
Part of the reason for my stupid amount of excitement is last summer. Wherein I had exactly zero days off. Lying, obviously. I had like, two days off. It was an exhausting summer.
Plus then this school year? We didn't bail on Friday, (like we may or may not have done frequently last year. Plus the year before that). And we didn't observe national holidays. Because seriously, who even cares about the presidents. Or Cesar Chavez. Or the veterans***. We just schooled. And schooled. We schooled like it was going out of style. We kicked it old school and new school and in the middle school. AND NOW WE ARE ALMOST DONE.
Lastly, our 175th day of school, as I said, happens to land exactly on May 4th. And as it turns out, this is a fabulously geeky Star Wars obsessed bunch. So May the 4th be with us, and we're ending the year with a Star Wars party instead of taking our annual trip to Chuck E. Cheese. Because really. It's the right thing to do.
So the story here tonight is: Homeschool your kids. Because then you can be done with the year a full on month before the rest of the world, and it will be the coolest. The. Coolest.
Oh and hey... have I mention our school year is almost done?
*It is distinctly possible that this spring had a hefty number of field trips.
**Classical Conversations. And if you're curious, I'll explain exactly why it's the greatest thing to ever happen to education since forever. Also? Please don't ask it makes me seem creepy.
***Super sorry about that. Hail to the veterans.