Saturday, September 2, 2017

Welcome to September, Hombres. Pumpkin Spice it up.

Okay guys. A couple weeks ago, I wrote a slightly ranty, slightly psychotic post about how I don't care what the calendar said or the weather said and that I was excited and ready for the fall.

I mean, I get it. I was going a little crazy. I can admit that. But you have to forgive me now, because it's the law.

Well, turns out I don't have to ignore anything anymore. Because GUYS it is actually September!!!! Squee!! So here ya go, in an officialest of capacities:
I mean, sure, it's 108 degrees outside today but....


Latin Outdoors. Like God intended.
UGH. Okay, forget it. This place is hot and terrible.

So I acknowledge that we're still at the tail end of one of the hottest heatwaves of the entire summer, but as it turns out, I have central air and very few reasons to go into the out of doors, so that big scary number is, to me, just a big scary number. PLUS? Next Saturday it's supposed to be 91. Which is basically scarf weather here, so... YEAH. Happy Fall, friends.

In case for some weird reason that isn't enough for you, here's some things about this fall that make it the best thing in my whole life. Ever.

1- Football season. FOOTBALL season. GUYS OMG IT IS TOTALLY FOOTBALL SEASON.


Sum Optime!
Husband and I have become a little bit... a lot bit... gross and jockish over the past half decade or so. We have become football fans. And seeing as we don't half-butt anything around here, we have become INTENSE football fans, who even watch the preseason with passionate interest. 

NOTE: When I say we have becoming jockish, please understand that I am not saying we have become jocks. I still do not sports. I eat chips and watch other people sports. Never confuse the two.

2- Healthy brain.

After a summer filled with panic attacks and raging self-doubt, followed by buckets of tears and more buckets of prayer, I feel like I'm starting to move past Terrifyingly Crazy Ashley. I feel like, like maybe I can see my way to wholeness. To mental health. To a life that doesn't include crying in the bathroom. To a time where someone could give me a compliment and my brain wouldn't fight like a feral cat to destroy it. I like mental health. It seems promising.

3- Soccer Season.
Sum Pessime.

So yeah, we've become all jockish lately, but we've done so in a CRAZY 'Murica kind of fashion, which means bro I fracking hate soccer. But as it turns out, my kids don't hate soccer. I mean, between you and me, I'm not saying they're GOOD at soccer, but they do seem to like it. Cute uniforms. Snacks and juice. Plus grown ups who clap and treat them like super stars. They love it all. 

And I hate it all.

So this year, like the lazy, uncaring parents that we are, we decided to skip the soccer season And right now, RIGHT NOW, it is almost 2:30 on a Saturday afternoon, and I am still in my pajamas, relaxed on the couch with my feet up on a card table that holds a puzzle I was working on earlier. THIS is how you fall. THIS is how you Saturday.

Last year, with 3 soccer games every single Saturday, we didn't have free time. We didn't have lazy days. In fact, not one single lazy day in almost 3 months. And that kind of thing breaks my brain, my brain which is obviously far too fragile for breaks. So we skipped soccer this year, and now I get to lie on the couch in my pajamas, and later, go out on a date with my husband. And may I remind you? It is one hundred and eight fracking degrees outside. I'm pretty sure refusing to sign the kids up for organized sports was the best choice I've ever made in my life. So you're welcome.

4- Lastly, for now at least, the homeschool thing. 

Because as it turns out... we're maybe finally figuring out how to do this thing. We work. We get it done. They're getting better, and for NO JOKE, seven straight school days, zero kids have had a meltdown. I'm not sure what's happening, but it's been like, FUN. Consistently fun. For the first time ever. 

So there ya go. This is obviously a fall to celebrate. And in that spirit, we spent our Friday school day reading, crafting, and decorating the house for this most glorious of seasons. I even dusted. It's like I'm becoming a real life adult person.

Of course, last night after the kids went to bed, husband and I sat down and he... had some thoughts. "You know honey... the house looks GREAT. Definitely great. I'm not saying it doesn't look great but... you know this means this stuff will be here for three straight months?  

OBVIOUSLY, Husband. Of course I'm aware how many days the fall stuff will be here until the Christmas stuff comes to replace it. But you shut your beautiful mouth. Cuz Wifey Pants NEEDS THIS.

Happy Fall. 

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