Yeah. It's good to be back. Except for this one part, where our home AC died last night. Plus, it's over 100 degrees outside. So there's that.
Now here, to celebrate the immense and ugly heat, are some stream of consciousness thoughts I'm having, mostly inspired by the immense and ugly heat. I think they are deep and insightful insightful. I think you are welcome.
|Gotta say. |
I'm super upset I didn't think of this first.
- I rely too much on air conditioning. I don't know how anyone ever lived without air conditioning.
- I am more out of shape than I've maybe ever been in my life. That needs to change. But it's way too hot to exercise. Luckily, it's also way too hot to eat. So, it balances I guess.
- The AC guy's work phone number screamed at me like when you accidentally call a fax machine. Why is his work number a fax machine. Why do we still have fax machines.
- I'm pretty sure the spider likes getting petted. I know you think I'm weird and wrong but you should see it. It's cray. Our dog hates being petted. Our spider loves it. Our cat hides under the bed and cries.
- Is sweating exercise. Sweating feels like exercise. I'm counting it. So much exercise.
- A stray cat seems to have abandoned her kittens in our bushes. They are cute. But I don't want 3 infant kittens. I also don't want 3 dead infant kittens. Please someone come take the kittens.
- My kids have gone insane. They don't seem to think it's hot at all. In fact, they put on winter pajamas and the little one requested a blanket for his "chiwwy feet". I'm concerned. They might all have brain tumors. They probably all have brain tumors.
- I got a really great spiritual revelation moment last night. From Grey's Anatomy. Bet no one ever expected to hear that.
- I've been crocheting again lately. Crocheting blankets. Which is crazy because I can't imagine any scenario in the universe wherein someone might want a blanket.
- This morning in church the pastor told us to "try and stay cool today" like 27 times. I'm not complaining. But I'm also not convinced he wasn't personally taunting me. It was cruel. Ya know what? I am complaining. I'm a victim here. That was Broken House Shaming. How dare he.
- Cold bath. That's the ticket. I'm gonna go take a cold bath and enjoy a little LUXURY.
- Seacrest. Out.